


Tell me something (I didn't know)

by AStrangeDaze (TerraRising)



Category: Wanna One (Band)
Genre: Break Up Talk, Drabble Request, Light Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-15
Updated: 2017-11-15
Packaged: 2019-02-02 20:43:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,320
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12733965
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TerraRising/pseuds/AStrangeDaze
Summary: Drabble request by @neverafter_1996 on twitter for S.O.S's Drabble Project





	Tell me something (I didn't know)

The sun was blazing overhead; today was the epitome of a sunny afternoon in the height of June. The scent of peach blossoms was thick in the air all around them, the scent sweet and cloying.

 

It was a familiar scent, a familiar scene; the path home was one Seongwoo could have walked with his eyes closed from memory alone.

 

The hand in his was one with grooves and calluses he knew intimately. The pavement beneath his feet he had traced with his steps a thousand times over, he knew where each crack and uneven groove was. The taste of pralines from the ice-cream earlier still lingered pleasantly on his tongue and he was in no rush to get anywhere, had no obligations except for to bask in and appreciate this beautiful day.

 

But something was niggling in the back of his mind. Something itched, something just shy of unsettling, something that made him feel like a spectator, a stranger in his own skin.

 

It was not the pleasant warmth of the sun kissing his skin, not the heady perfume of peach blossoms tantalizing with every breath, not the quiet scrape of his soles against this beaten path. It was the hand in his, just a little sticky where a bit of their sweet treat must have melted.

 

 

_Yes, it was that hand._

 

_Why did it have to be that hand?_

 

As if sensing the disquiet on his mind, Daniel speaks for the first time since they had left the ice-cream parlour. “Tell me something I didn't know,” he asks, quiet, unassuming, nothing like how Daniel should sound.

 

The question was a routine one, their usual pastime, just a quick, simple game of sorts. It had started as a way to learn about each other, turned to amusement as they dug for obscure facts and little known trivia, before settling into a prompt to share, to tell the other about new things happening in their life. It had never weighed more heavily in Seongwoo’s mind until today.

 

He’s silent for a moment too long, just that extra second enough to make Daniel shift, for regret to settle itself on his shoulders but it’s too late to take back now, Seongwoo’s mouth is opening, spitting out the words he never wanted to colour the air between them.

 

 

 

“I don’t love you anymore.”

 

 

  

He forces himself to look at Daniel, a quick glance, expecting him to be shocked, to be angry. But Daniel only kept walking, only kept pulling Seongwoo along with a sad, accepting smile in his eyes.

 

“Tell me something I didn't know,” he asks again, hand holding Seongwoo’s tighter.

 

Seongwoo squeezes back helplessly even as the words he had hidden for so long, words he tried so hard to bury at the bottom of his heart, sprung up unbidden. But the love in his heart that used to make it feel so full with just a smile from Daniel had drained away and every confession was leaping out into the open air. There was nothing left to hold them back.

 

“I don’t know when it started but somewhere along the lines, I think I started to hate you. I hate you and I don’t know how to stop.”

 

Daniel’s grip on Seongwoo now was bordering on painful; Seongwoo can feel the bones in his hand shifting in the other’s grasp. “Tell me something I didn't know,” he asked Seongwoo a third time.

 

The words come easier this time, like a weight was being slowly lifted from his chest. “I hate you because you don’t want to change. I hate you because even when you’re moving forward, you want me to stay the same. I hate you because I walked away from you, from us, five times already this year and you didn’t even notice,” he stopped where he stood, pulling Daniel to a halt forcibly, turning to look him dead in the eye feeling hollowed out inside with everything out in the open now.

 

“I hate you because you’re still in love with the me then but you can’t seem to love the me now.”

 

Daniel is silent, is unmoving, is nothing; he radiates resignation and sadness, and Seongwoo feels a sudden urge to reach out and shake him, to force out a reaction, something, anything. Instead he gives their joined hands a tug and prompts, “Tell me something I didn't know.”

 

The taller boy laughs lowly, ducking his head for a moment before lifting it with a heavy sigh.

 

“I know you don’t love me anymore, but I don’t want to let you go.”

 

“Tell me something I didn't know,” Seongwoo finds himself repeating.

 

A beat. Silence. Hesitation and then confession.

 

“I know that holding on to you is only going to make you hate me more, but I still don’t want to let you go.”

 

Seongwoo steps closer to Daniel until they’re breathing each other’s air. They’re barely inches apart but it feels like stars and galaxies, an entire universe, has sprung into existence between them. He can feel the warmth radiating from Daniel’s skin, smell the cologne and the sweet scent of ice-cream on his breath, and still it feels like an infinite distance is between them.

 

For a hysterical moment, he recalls that if the universe were to break down Ong Seongwoo and Kang Daniel into their barest building blocks, the electrons in the atoms that made up their very persons would always be repelled by each other, they could never overlap, never touch. This infinite yet miniscule space between them was science, an irrefutable truth, only now he could feel it in his very soul.

 

“Tell me something I didn't know,” he asks for the last time, surprising even himself with how steady his voice is.

 

“I don’t know how to love any differently, don’t know how to love _you_ any differently. I don’t know how to change with you, so I settled for changing around you instead. I don’t know how to be with the you now because we started growing in different directions and it feels like every step I take only pushes you farther away. I ran back to our starting point to try and retrace the steps but the waves have washed away any footprints in the sand.”

 

Daniel takes a deep heaving breath as if the words are caught in his throat and Seongwoo waits patiently though he’s can already hear them in his mind’s eye.

 

“I don’t know what my feelings are anymore so I just kept calling it love. Because you hate me, you want to leave me, but I still don’t want to let you go. Even if I wanted to, I don’t know how to let you go.”

 

One heartbeat passes, then another, and then another. Seongwoo lets his hand go slack in Daniel’s hold and then slowly, slowly but surely, he slides his hand from the other’s grasp.

 

“You start like this,” he whispers as their fingertips brush against each other in farewell, “you start like this.”

 

 

\--------------

 

 

The sun keeps shining above. The peach blossoms smell as fragrant as ever. The crunch of gravel beneath his feet is steady even as the last of the honeyed cream fades from his tongue.

 

As Seongwoo starts the familiar journey home, there is no warm hand in his, no familiar presence by his side.

 

If he dwells on it, the sun seems to be beating too harshly. The scent of peach blossoms is making his head spin. There’s a rock stuck in his shoe, digging into his heel through his sock, and his lips taste faintly of saline.

 

His hand feels cold, unnatural.

 

 

 _I_ _don’t love him anymore._  

 

 

Seongwoo keeps walking. One foot in front of the other, without a second set to echo his footsteps. Seongwoo keeps walking. A voice in his head whispers,  _tell me something I didn't know._

 

 

_I don't love him anymore._

 

 

 

 

 

_Right?_

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Have a prompt for us?
> 
> Drop by: https://curiouscat.me/ongnielsos (:


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